so i took the starbucks challenge today:

me: do you have fair trade coffee?
girl#1: yes.
me: can i have a cup?
girl#1: no, we stopped brewing it in october. we were brewing it then. wait....do you want to buy the beans or the coffee?
me: i would like a cup. i read on the website that if i asked for it, then you could french press it for me.
girl#1: uhhh....yeah...(to guy) do you wanna make a french press?
guy: sure thing (winks).
girl#2: (enters out of back room)
girl#1 & girl#2: (whisper inaudibly, look dead at me while whispering)
me: (look dead at girls looking dead at me)
girl#1: (barely audible) well if people know we french press coffe we kinda have to make it for them.
girl#2: (at register) ok, so you had a *insert weird starbucks coffee term here*?
me: uhhh....no, a french press fair trade coffee.
girl#2 to guy: what size?
guy to me: what size?
me: whatever is easiest for you.
guy: i can make whatever size you prefer.
me: oh, ok, a small then.
guy: tall it is.
me: (cringes inside. shoulda seen it coming)
guy: it'll be about 4 minutes (winks).

4 minutes later:
guy: here's your french press fair trade tall coffe! enjoy!
me: oh, i'm sure i will (proceed to burn the fuck out of my mouth because the coffee is scalding hot).