people who chew with their mouth open. yes, i'm referring to the girl on the train who was chewing on tortilla chips and it sounded like she had a frickin' squirrel stuffed in her jacket that she was feeding only it wasn't cute because SHE'S NOT A SQUIRREL!

people who push their way on the train because they think they need to get on because it's colder than Hoth outside and they aren't thinking with all six cylinders.

when someone thinks that dog obedience = a nice punch in the head.

people who listen to their headphones at full volume on the train because it's like a dance party in their head and they're inviting you to join in.

letting your cell phone ring that obnoxious ring that you have because a.) you think it's cool and you want everyone to know how cool it is and b.) you're cool because you screen your phonecalls because you get so many digits and you're so cool. we all know it's your mom calling to yell at you because you still live at home and have a curfew YOU FUCK!

the lack of proper stylish winter footwear available in chicago.

see the no smoking sign buddy? that means NO SMOKING on the el platform under the damn heat lamps. i don't care if you roll your own cigarettes. you're not cool.

going to shows and people push their way in front of you because they want to rock out. but then they stand on top of you whilst having 3 feet of space in front of them and you're mashed next to the couple that smell like dirty hippies that haven't showered in a week and they're sweating because they're still wearing their chicago blizzard gear and refuse to take it off. a pox on your children dickhead.

people who don't shovel their sidewalk after it snows. it's a moral obligation.

the fact that we don't smoke cigarettes yet our apartment still smells like stinky cigarette stank. god bless central air/heat ducting.